- Reflect on your household growing up. Did you bond in healthy ways with your parents, siblings, or others? Whom did you bond with in unhealthy ways?
- Look at your life today. Which relationships feel the healthiest? Which ones feel unhealthy?
- Be honest with yourself. Do you have difficulty finding and deepening healthy relationships? And have you tolerated relationships that are not good or healthy for you? Why are you doing that?
- Think about how you can shift so you spend more time with the healthy people in your life.
- Consider what you can start doing that will make you closer to God, some practice that will make that relationship more meaningful.
We must identify which boundaries we most need to work on.
- Do you need to work on boundaries in your body? God calls it our vessel (I Thessalonians 4:4). Do you set limits so you do not overeat? Sleep away too much of your days? Work far too much? Can you set boundaries so no one abuses you physically or sexually? Is your body wholly yours – and are you in charge of it right now in healthy ways?
- Can you set boundaries so your feelings are yours and you own your choices? We are each responsible for making decisions about what is right or best in our lives, with God’s help. Do you lose your voice? Waffle on your decisions? Are you allowing others to shame you, or manipulate you? Are you prepared to take back control and freely express your feelings? Will you make known your choices, even if others push back against you?
- Can you set boundaries on your attitude? People in our lives have expectations of us, these can be realistic and motivating. But if we don’t agree with others’ ideas and expectations, there can be pressure and even conflict. Can you set a firm boundary and maintain your sense of inner peace despite others feeling disappointed or disapproving? Can you avoid being a victim – someone who says, “THEY are making me feel anxious, upset or sad?” Instead can you be fully in charge of your attitude, staying separate or apart from their feelings or moods?